Meera

My whole life I’ve been a hard black shell to emotions. Not that I dint feel any but that I dint want to feel them intense and then get hurt. Call me insecured if you will, but I’ve seen many a tormenting pain in the eyes of my friends and it wasn’t a pretty sight. And each day I thank the lord that he hasn’t put me on that podium yet. And each day I find my shell growing harder.

I have neither known Meera long enough nor close enough, but as far as I knew her she was a dear one to me. I’ve known her life to a certain extent to know the longing dreams she then had. Hers was an emotion that sank into me deep enough and made me write this. I’m not philanthropic. I don’t put in my time to fight for the good of mankind. But I make an effort not to be the reason for someone I love to be hurt. I guess that makes me justified.

I once saw on Ripley’s believe it or not. It was an episode of a man who loved his wife very much. They had named their home “the house of love”. After his wife passed away, he did not bury her. He mummified her body and kept it her in a basement room built on his farm. She had been gone for 26 years then. On the show he said “they say time is a healer, it makes you forget, it lightens the pain, but it’s not true, it’s not true, I miss her more everyday”.

To me Meera appears the same as him when I read a piece she wrote “he is not my past to forget, he is my present and I will wait for him to come back and take me with him. I’ll yearn for him, serve my time and wait for us to be together again”. She lost the love of her life to a horrid bike accident just a few months after her wedding. I know not of the details of the incident nor much of her life. But I sure do comprehend a certain amount of her current emotions.

Life chooses such strange ways to hurt people. Imagine to wake up each morning and to find the one you love not resting beside you but in an ornate frame against a wall. Thinking of the times of his arms were around you and hug the photo close and your heart hurts even to beat. Every article in the house has a story. Every brick and sand on the road has a memory. You can run away to a different place, but can you run away from the memories inside your head, inside your heart? You wouldn’t even chose to run as those memories are more precious than all the riches in the world put together. The pain, the grief is beyond verbal description. It sinks deep to the very roots of your happiness and shakes it up like an earthquake. The Richter’s scale could brake if such painful tremors of the heart were measured.

How many dreams crashed? How many wishes unfulfilled. Would their souls rest in peace? Would their memories be forgotten? I don’t think so. The pain only sinks deeper by the passing day like a tree rotting from with in. Does life have to take such sharp turns to show that true love still does exist? Every time you have to do something which he/she used to do for the pain comes back. The memories flush on you. It takes you to a point where normal breathing which we do unconsciously become painful at each breathe. And in the solitude of your heart you keep asking “why me, why me”. There are no answers to that question. Answers if any given would still not satisfy the questioner.

Those moments would make you distinctly remember every incident in which you had hurt that person. It make you want to rewind life and make right all those mistakes. But alas life has no stop and rewind button. The advent of time machines is still a questionable factor. Though clairvoyance is a much proved subject it has no power to reverse things. How could life turn so unreasonable?

True love

Those who were the reason for wars live to comment on the aftermath while the families of the innocent victims mourn the memories of the dear ones passed. I came across this article of an American solider that became practically deformed on the face due to the ill-effects of the Iraq war. The boy had a pretty handsome face until the traumas of the war mutilated it. The once sharp and handsome features of his face appeared like a badly moulded clay in the hands of a child. The woman he loved married him despite the way he turned out to look. Does life have to take such sharp turns to show that true love still does exist?

Sriram

A childhood friend of mine was kidnapped for ransom and murdered. His body lay rotting in a well for 40 days before it was found. His body was wrapped in bandage and brought in a sealed glass box. The forensic report said there were numerous cut marks on his body and he was throttled to death. When I went to his house and saw the way they had brought him, my heart stopped to beat. Time stopped still. I stood glued to the door way unable to move. I don’t know how long I stood there but when I came back to the present, I turned around and ran home. All this had happened before the ransom was given. The parents promptly gave the ransom twice. If they only wanted money why murder him. The kidnappers were well known. It was his car driver. When they nabbed the kidnappers they only got a few years to serve behind prison bars. But would that bring him back?

We studied from kinder garden to standard six together. He was one of the smartest kids in class with his father’s business empire waiting to be handed to him. He was a really nice person. One could never see him angry. He had always been even tempered. That day after school I had gone to the library and came back. Everyone had left class. Sriram was there sitting on the bench waiting for Zameel I guess. We were chitchatting for a while. It got late for me to get to the school van lest I take public transport which I wasn’t very fond of. So I picked my bag to leave, he asked to stay and keep him company until his friends came. Told him it was already a bit and I rushed off. Thinking back it wouldn’t have hurt to have stayed a while even if had to make me miss my van. Every time I entered the class I could feel his absence. I would sit starring at the seat he used to sit, which was right next to me. That was the only thing the school spoke about the rest of that academic year. It’s been 12 yrs since, but till date that classroom still haunts me of his memories. The last conversation in class is still vivid in my memory. The school grounds we played together. The silly fights we used have each day. Memories dated for eight years. The school put up a life size picture of him in an ornate frame in the entrance lobby. He had slight smile and a calm and serene face. Every time I passed it the pain increased. His family sponsored the prises and certificates for all school events after that. His picture was on every certificate I got from then on. It never let me forget. I don’t have to see his picture to remember his face. It’s engraved in my head. The school named awards in his memory. I can name memories, a few of them still vivid. When I remember the time spent with him, the memories rush back all pleasant and happy except one and that one hurts as it was the memory of the time i saw him in a glass case.

Small touching story mainly for professionals...

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his
5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"

DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?" replied the man.

SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"

DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?"
the man said angrily.

SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an
hour?"

DAD: "If you must know, I make Rs.100 an hour."

SON: "Oh," the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow Rs.50?"

The father was furious, "If the only reason you asked that is so you
can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then
you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about
why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this
childish behavior."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little
boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some
money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to
think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that
Rs.50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to
the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.
"Are you asleep, son?" He asked.

"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.

"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier" said the
man.

"It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the
Rs.50 you asked for."

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. "Oh, thank you daddy!" He
yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.
The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry
again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up
at his father.

"Why do you want more money if you already have some?" the father
grumbled.

"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied.

"Daddy, I have Rs.100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?

Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with
you."

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he
begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We
should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some
time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.

Do remember to share that Rs.100 worth of your time with someone you love.


If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily
replace us in a matter of days.


But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the
rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
into work than to our family.

Love is bird, let it fly with wings open wide.

There was once a girl who had a magnificent bird for a friend. Everyday the bird used to come spend an hour with her and go back to its home. They talked and laughed and spent the one hour very happily. Everyday the girl would eagerly wait for the time she would spend with the bird. One day she thought that if she tried to find a way to keep the bird with her always then she would always be happy. So the next day when the bird came she trapped the bird and put it in a cage. Eventually she lost interest in the bird and also the bird started losing its charm… and one day the bird died.. She realized then that had she not caged the bird, she would have always been interested in the bird and the bird would have lived. She killed wat she cherished due to her selfishness..

Love is similar to the bird.. The person u love is very much the bird.. In a relationship u should let the other to be independent and respect him/her for wat he/she is ( I’m not gona talk bout trust here coz it is to be understood that it is present. Trust is the very foundation of any relationship) only then will your love be alive and keep u alive… if u try to cage it, and control it the love will eventually fade. And as always realizations would come too late to remedy your mistake…

Understanding and Accepting each other – a simple example :

I have a friend named Sanjai. He’s been married for two years now to a woman named Vidhya. His favourite colour is blue and his wife was not exactly fond of it. Her favourite colour was a leaf green and he hated that colour. Why they hated those colours is still a mystery to me. What they did was something quiet unique. Sanjai went to the park or a place which had a garden in it. And Vidhya decorated the house in blue. Bed spreads in blue, curtains in blue, etc… Eventually Sanjai started to get used to the colour leaf green and Vidhya got used to the colour blue. There is no compromise or adjustment in their behaviour. They both found ways to accept what the other liked. This is a conscious effort. Here we observe that instead of trying to change the other person they figured a way to like what the other liked. We would term this as understanding and accepting each other.

People in general fail to realise that what we need, is to understand one another and accept people as they are. The compromises that we make in life, eventually leads to build a frustration. When you want a person to compromise it indirectly implies that you want “him/her” - to do, to be or to think the way you want him/her to.

Feminine power..!

Talking on Lao Tzu and his feminine principle, Osho explains: "It is natural. The feminine principle wins. And Lao Tzu is all for the feminine principle. Why does the woman win? She is so soft. In fact she never fights, she persuades. She does not fight directly; her fight is indirect and subtle. If she wants to say no, she will not say so directly, but in a thousand and one ways her whole being will say no. In the way she places the plate, in the way she moves, in her sari's swish... She will say no. She herself will say yes but her whole being will say no. How can you defeat something so subtle? If you love the woman, you are defeated."

The power of women lies in tenderness, love, beauty and feminine grace. When they start seeking the same power as sought by men, they lose something very precious. Of course, women should be strong and courageous but not in the same way as men are. They should be strong in their own unique way-the feminine way. When they realise this uniqueness, no man can match their power.

Once Emperor Akbar asked Birbal: "Sometimes, I get worried. All the people in my court look henpecked. Is there not even a single brave man here?" Birbal said: "Looks difficult, but we will try to find one."

They were all brave men. If ordered, they would put down their lives without a moment's hesitation. Their bravery was not in any way suspect. Birbal made arrangements and said: "Tomorrow, come decided that you will assert the truth. Anybody who tells a lie is going to the gallows. Think over it. The king wants to know the truth-are you afraid of your wife or not?"

They all came. The king said: "Those who are afraid of their wives should move to the right, and those who are not afraid should stay on the left." All moved to the right except a single, tiny man. Akbar said: "I am happy because I was thinking that not even a single man would stay." The lone man said: "Wait! Don't be happy so soon. When I was coming here, my wife told me not to stand in the crowd! That's why I am standing here."

What makes a man fear a woman? Her feminine strength. Man can argue endlessly but, in most cases, the woman always wins. She may not even produce a good argument, but win she does.

Osho brings in the spiritual dimension: "And it is good that the hard is defeated and the soft wins because that is the only possibility for God to win in the world. The devil must be hard like rock. God must be soft. In the East, we never think of God as a father; rather we think of God as a mother. That insight is beautiful. God should not be thought of as father because the male principle is hard. God should be thought of as mother, feminine."

God persuades you to come to him, yet he never forces you. You never meet him anywhere and yet you search for him. You never encounter him. He follows you as a subtle aroma. You never come face to face with him. You will find him deep in the stirrings of your heart. You will not find him like a storm; he comes like a subtle breeze. Only those who are very subtle will be able to feel it. He comes like a flower.

All the enlightened ones-such as Gautama Buddha-are like flowers and have feminine grace. That's why people worship them as incarnations of God. They have a feminine mystery and a tremendous power that no Alexander the Great or Napoleon could have had. Their influence on humanity is eternal. Humanity surrenders to them out of reverence, while all the Alexanders who try to conquer the world fail miserably. Masculine power is violent; feminine power is full of love and compassion.

My Song!!

I dream my dream, Dont dwell on them.
I live my life, In reality.
The books i read, The movies said
The world around, Showed me

Life always never had, Fairytale endings..
Walking down, By the shore
I wondered what, Life had in store!

On a cloudy day, You passed me by
A fairy tale, You were to me.
My reality began to fade
And dreams have taken hold

The life i lived, i left behind
I Travelled down, The road you showed
You promised me, A thousand dreams
Placed my faith, Hardly knew you

The words you spoke, The moments spent
Are memories, To eternity..
All i ever want is
To live on your love..

Looking.....!!

Every hour of every day I look around
The more I look around, the more I know
The more I know the less I remember about before
Digging deep for clues on higher grounds.

The present day…

Life seems to give,
Life seems to take.
What it gives – you can’t deny.
What it takes – you can’t withhold.
Happy you live,
If you sway,
To the beat,
Of your day…!